Ladies, we need to talk. There is a topic that has been in the news lately, and maybe I am getting a little too political and I know I have written about this before, but I feel a strong need to speak out on this again.
Why can men get away with their justifications on sexual harassment and their sexist generalizations about women? Did we go back in time? I am disgusted by the amount of women coming out to tell their stories about being sexually harassed by men they work/worked with. The reason I am so angry with this, is mainly because I keep hearing people complain about the fact that these women have waited years to come out and they are looking for a moment in the spotlight. I want to start off by saying, unless you have been a victim of sexual harassment, I feel like you don't really have the right to express your opinion as to why or when these women come out with their stories. I hate to break it to you, but we still live in a world where laws are supposed to protect us from retaliation. Women withhold their feelings out of fear of losing jobs, being shamed or embarrassed, being called the "office slut" and the list only gets worse. In my opinion, I hope there are more women that find the courage to come forward with their stories. I hope it puts enough fear in men that they will stop and think before they back a woman into a corner or make lewd comments. If Quid Pro Quo laws don't work, maybe a pinch of fear, mass amounts of public shaming and a dash of embarrassment will.
Even though these women are coming forward with their stories, we still have men out there that feel entitled to do or say what they want to women without any consequences. It is a viscous cycle of boys being taught "boys will be boys". When will this mind set change? Oh yeah, when you teach your boys at a young age to respect women, set good examples and don't use phrases like "you throw like a girl". Don't get me wrong, there are some great guys out there that have respect for women, but the long list of pigs is far too long to forget. It becomes more and more difficult to ignore the comments, catcalls and gropes.
This topic has been nagging at me for a few weeks, but I decided to finally write this blog post when I saw a Facebook post this morning about a woman that was being catcalled as she was walking into work. Guys, let me just tell you this now, most women, hate being yelled at and looked at like a piece of meat. If you're doing this with hopes of the woman turning around to give you her number, you're sadly mistaken. I was happy to read that the woman turned around to confront the guy. Of course he stayed in his truck with the windows rolled up and paid her no mind. SMOOTH!
Guys I want to help you, so I came up with a list of helpful tips for your path to recovery.
10 Do's and Don'ts on Treating Women
1. Do not touch us, unless it is welcomed or you have read all signs correctly, no matter what setting (work, bar, party, grocery store, etc.).
2. Do not make lewd comments, jokingly or not. This is okay, only if you fully understand the woman's sense of humor. These comments are never okay at work.
3. Don't assume anything!
4. No catcalling (we already covered this).
5. When in a club or bar setting where dancing is taking place, always ask the woman if she wants to dance. It doesn't matter if she is already dancing. Chances are, your'e a terrible dancer and we do not enjoy being spontaneously humped from behind by complete strangers.
6. NEVER call us a bitch or crazy after we shut you down. Politely walk away and don't make a scene. We either have a boyfriend, want a girls night, or you're not our type. It's okay!
7. Do not make "funny" generalizations about women. For example, (I heard this the other day) when a waitress asks for your credit card back because the computer didn't run it properly, do not reply with "women, always wanting the credit card". Perhaps we "always want the credit card" is because we still make less money than you! Next time, reply with "sure no problem", and politely hand the waitress your card.
8. Quit teaching your sons what you think know about women. Phrases like "you hit like a girl" or "you cry like a little girl" are so wrong! This puts the stigma of men are stronger than women, in a boys mind at a young age. This sticks with them for the rest of their life and creates an image that all women are lesser than.
Let them play with baby dolls! This teaches them that it is not just the mothers place to take care of the children. It will shape your son to be a great dad someday. Is that so bad?
9. Money is not an excuse for bad behavior. Just because you are rich, does not mean we want you. Just because you flaunt your money at a bar does not mean it is okay to grope us all night, and it sure as hell doesn't mean we want to go home with you.
10. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of children and laundry are not "a woman's job". Whether you're married or not, you and your significant other are a team. You're both working hard all day and no one actually wants to go home to cook and clean until it is time for bed. It's amazing what can get done when you do the work in a joint effort. Guys, here is a little secret for you. Women actually find it really attractive when men help out in the kitchen. It's also quite fun.
While this list is a short one, it will really help you avoid a swift kick to the balls in the future. Let's end this long cycle of sexual harassment and gender inequality, because honestly, we are running out of patients quickly!
While I make my smart ass comments, I write this in all seriousness and with hopes that women will find the courage to stand up to their harassers. I know how it feels to not be able to speak up about an incident that happens at work or in public. You tell yourself they won't do it again, or you fear for people looking at you in a different way, so you stay quiet. Dig deep and find the courage to speak up! This is only enabling men to keep harassing women when, where, how they please. If you can't find someone to confide in at work. seek help from someone that has gone through the same issue or knows the necessary steps to stop the issue.